Kill Your Darlings

I have a long post at Fictorians today about what to do with your novel in the aftermath of NaNoWriMo so I'm going to try to keep this post short. Yea, I know. My chances aren't high. Still, I'm going to make the attempt.

There's something I said at Fictorians that I wanted to spend a bit more time with here. For the full story, check out the Fictorians post here. The short version is I've seen stories where the writer's unwillingness to trim out the fat i.e. his "darlings" (those bits that while the writer loves them don't advance plot or character) have poisoned the entire story and made it unpalatable. I've seen this tendency to keep "darlings" in stories I've rejected at Flash Fiction Online as well.

Stephen King coined the phrase "kill your darlings" in On Writing. For this we all owe him a debt. But, killing our darlings isn't easy. The first step in the process is identifying a "darling."

So, how do you know when something is a "darling" to be killed rather than a bit that needs reworking?

For me, there are three ways I know a section, or an entire story, is a "darling."

1. The section doesn't advance plot or character, or is misplaced.

These are the "darlings" you hope to discovery on your first editing pass. Sometimes they are hard to pick out though.  You may have a scene characters walking around a bazaar to set the place. If that's all the characters are doing though, the scene may really be a darling. The scene could be saved by showing character - what the point of view character notices - or somehow advances the plot by giving the reader a hint he might not realize at the time. I find my "darlings" tend to be more like "in jokes", funny to those who know, but incomprehensible to the rest of your readers.

In the play I mentioned in my Fictorian's post, I remember a "darling" where the main character's (a writer) characters were trying to figure out what an item was. The payoff for the scene was a bad pun. From a technical stand point, the scene is a good example of how point of view affects a story. From a storytelling point, the scene was a disaster as the joke didn't advance the arc in the play. It needed to be deleted even though more than 20 years later, I can still remember it.

Clever turns of phrases also fall into this slot. The image might be vivid, but if it's in the wrong spot, it's a "darling" that needs to be killed. As an example the phrase "threw it away from her like last week's rotten fish" is evocative but it doesn't belong in a love scene where the main character rips off her boyfriend's shirt and hurls it across the room.


2.  The section doesn't fit into any plot box.

I've written about the Hollywood formula, but in essence, the "formula" states that to bring the viewer a satisfying story, that story must hit certain "beats" and turning points. Some of these points are the "bad guys close in" and "all is lost" moments. If I can't name the beat the scene is serving, it is probably a "darling."


3. My readers' feedback is "hu?" or many people note a problem with the section.

Beta readers are invaluable. Sometimes the best feedback a reader can give you is "hu?" A "hu" means either your writing wasn't clear or the reader doesn't understand why the scene is in the story. The second is a "darling" that must be killed.

If a number of your readers are calling your attention to a particular section, you have a problem there. While the reader might not be able to articulate the problem, those sections need to be scrutinize. If the problem is that the section is a "darling" you may need to kill it. 

I had several of these "darlings" in Kalypso's Song, published in Shots at Remdemption. This story started as an experiment. I wanted to see if I could keep the feel of a Homerian story in a contemporary romance. I read about thirty different translations of the Odyssey, many of which were in the public domain to get the feel of the style. Yet, as I got feedback, the sections where I most closely imitated the Homerian-era voice were the ones were I received complains of being too "purple." Despite the fact that those bits were the ones I was the most proud of, I cut them because the were hurting my story.

"Killing your darlings" isn't easy. But it's necessary. I hope my guidelines for ferreting out "darlings" help make your writing strong.

Howlween Blog Hop!

I can't believe Halloween is here. It seems like New Year's Day was just last week. I have to say that Halloween is my favorite holiday. Both kids and adults feel free to let their hair down and party. It's the one time of year most adults will put on costumes and escape into the personality of someone or something else.

Halloween doesn't have the duty or mania of the other holidays either. The roots of the holiday go way back as  a celebration of the growing season and the barrier between the living and those who have gone on before. Today most of the religious or spiritual meaning has gone out of the holiday, but the sense of community and celebration goes on. Adults spend month planning Halloween parties and kids spend just as long wondering what the perfect costume will be. And then there's the candy, and the candy corn. Yum.

Anyway, thanks for stopping by the Howloween Blog Hop. Now for the part you're interest in:

CONTEST:

I'm giving away a copy of Apollo's Rising and Shots at Redemption, a set of Greek myth retellings.

In Apollo Rising: To restore Daphne to her nymph form, Apollo must bargain with treacherous Hades, but Death may demand too high a price.

Blurb:

Shot by a golden arrow, Apollo has only truly loved Daphne. He visits her each eclipse, and longs for reunion. He seeks the Fates’s advice and learns he may finally restore Daphne to her form by enlisting other gods’ assistance.

If Apollo fails Daphne will be lost to him forever. To regain Daphne’s soul, Apollo must deal with the devil, King of the Underworld. Love-torn and treacherous, Hades would slay the pantheon to remain with his wife for the full year. Apollo’s quest might just give Hades the leverage he needs to do so.

Will Pheobus Apollo surrender the sun to try to reclaim love? Can he break Daphne’s curse or will his attempts destroy her forever? Will she still love him after millennia as a soulless tree? With the end of the quest see Apollo rising, or in sunset?

Shots at Redemption is a collection of three short stories in which mythical beings seek their second changes at love.

Blurb:

We all make mistakes. In this collection, a witch, a goddess, and a dragon take their shots at redemption in the hope of reclaiming lost love.

In "Best Dressed and Obsessed, Janelle, a graduate-level witch, chooses a magic dress to enthrall her professor. Sadly, the dress is cursed. At her graduation ball, will she kiss the man she loves? Or kill him?

Eons ago, Zeus decreed that Odysseus leave Kalypso. In "Kalypso's Song", Odysseus is reborn as a scholar. Can Kalypso convince him to reclaim the love they were denied?

The sea dragon Ryu spares a ship crossing her domain when a human child aboard reminds her of her own lost children. Ryu finds an unlikely surrogate family in "A Sea Serpent's Tale". When her new family is attacked by another dragon, can Ryu save them?

Shots at Redemption. We want them. We need them. But, do we get them?

All you have to do for a chance to win is the normal things:

Comment on this post about your favorite Halloween traditions, and follow this blog or follow me on twitter.

Keep hopping and have a wonderful Howloween - http://thebloghopspot.com/event-page/ 

FREE today on Amazon - Apollo Rising

Apollo Rising is FREE today and tomorrow on Amazon!  Please check it out.

Shot by a golden arrow, Apollo has only truly loved Daphne. He visits her each eclipse, and longs for reunion. He seeks the Fates’s advice and learns he may finally restore Daphne to her true water nymph form by enlisting other gods’ assistance. 

If Apollo fails Daphne will be lost to him forever. To regain Daphne’s soul, Apollo must deal with the devil, King of the Underworld.  Love-torn and treacherous, Hades would slay the pantheon to remain with his wife for the full year. Apollo’s quest might just give Hades the leverage he needs to do so.

Will Pheobus Apollo surrender the sun to try to reclaim love? Can he break Daphne’s curse or will his attempts destroy her forever? Will she still love him after millennia as a soulless tree? With the end of the quest see Apollo rising, or in sunset?


Excerpt:

A soft glow beckoned from around a corner. While Hades pretended to be a traditionalist, he indulged in modern conveniences every chance he could. Ultra-violet panels, the ones mortals used to simulate sunlight, glowed from inside the walls. They brought day into the vaulted cavern. Hades had encrusted the ceiling with aquamarines since Apollo’s last visit. The light played off them simulating a summer sky. Another token of Hades’s love. Stalactites wider than a city bus hung from the ceiling. Others met stalagmites to form fluted columns reminiscent of the Pantheon. Stone draperies served as curtains, which separated Persphone’s chamber, and Hades’s media room from the main audience hall.

Reaching the center of the room, Apollo dropped to one knee.

“Lord Hades, I come to you as a supplicant.”

Hades could have passed for one of the stalagmites with his sharp and jagged features. His skin held a bluish cast from lack of sunlight. Obsidian color hair hung loose to his shoulders. Flint hard eyes glared at Apollo.

Persephone, on the other hand, reminded Apollo of a spring breeze. Sunshine colored hair swept away from olive skin, slightly pales in her time in the Underworld. Her bright ginger-colored tunic broke the unrelieved grays and blacks of the great hall.

“What brings you here?” Hades’s voice reverberated through the chamber.

Apollo raised an eyebrow. “I seek information, and possibly a trade.”

“Rise.”

The few times Apollo had needed something from Hades, he’d been treated as an honored guest. But not this time.

Enraged to the point of incivility by Persephone’s upcoming desertion, Hades was likely to vent his temper on any target. Sadly, Apollo provided him with one that could give him a decent fight. Daphne’s soul might cost more than Apollo could pay.

“What do you wish of me?” Hades asked.

“I wish to barter for Daphne’s soul.”

“I never said I had her.”

They’d never been friends, but then, they hadn’t been enemies either. There really wasn’t any reason for Hades to oppose Apollo’s attempt to rescue Daphne.

“Does that mean you are going to vie her to me?” Apollo asked.

“Give? Give? Now why would I do that?” Hades’s laugh grated in Apollo’s ears.

“What do you want, Hades?”

His gaze went hard. “A boon.”

“What kind?”

“Unlimited. To be provided when I demand.”

Apollo choked. If he agreed Hades could demand anything from him. Even the sun. The God of the Underworld had never been happy with his lot. Hades had helped his brothers, Zeus and Poseidon, wrestle the cosmos from Cronus. The brothers then drew lots for their domains. Zeus chose the sky, which is why Apollo as his son, was the Sun God. Poseidon chose the sea. But the brothers tricked Hades into becoming Death. In choosing the underworld, Hades lost the ability to walk comfortably in the sunlight. But if he took the sun from Apollo, Hades could remain above ground with Persphone.

Could Phoebus Apollo lose the sun?

Who would he be without it?


Buy Apollo Rising from Amazon today for Free. BUY LINK.

New Release, Apollo Rising, and where ideas come from.

My latest, Apollo Rising, releases on this Friday, September 7, 2012, from Musa Publishing. The idea for Apollo  Rising, a novella told through three short stories, came from a winter's drive to work. I'd already turned in two Greek myth retellings - Kalypso's Song and Best Dressed and Obsessed  for Shot at Redemption to my editor. He thought that the two stories might be a bit light on the total word count, and asked me to write a third Greek myth retelling. Except, now I wasn't sure what to do. I thought about a Cupid/Psyche retelling but we were too close to Valentine's Day to get it published in time for that holiday. The other ideas that crossed my mind seemed done or just not interesting enough.

In this grim mood, I started my commute into work. We weren't having a real winter. What I mean by that is, the weather was hovering at about 34 degrees Fahrenheit - not cold enough for snow, but plenty cold for ice and sleet. This January morning was no exception. Traffic crawled through a light ice storm which spit from a slate gray sky. As I bumped down the highway, my attention wandered to the side of the road. After all, it wasn't like I was going anyway. Grays painted the winter trees. The dull grey of dormant bark, and charcoal grey where the sleet wet it. It occurred to me that it must suck to be a tree in winter.

Hey! Daphne.

I hadn't seen a Daphne/Apollo retelling. What if Daphne hadn't been shot with a lead arrow? She never wanted to marry so shooting her with a golden arrow to make her fall in love with Apollo would just be cruel. What if she hadn't wanted her father to curse her? Could I possibly tell this story from Daphne's point of view? How hard would it be if my main character was a tree? From these thoughts, Laurel Branches was born.

By the time Laurel Branches was ready for my editor, he'd already put another story, Dragon Tales, into Shots at Redemption, and I was trying to figure out how Apollo would break Daphne's curse. The result Apollo Rising, three braided short stories, follows Apollo's attempts to return Daphne to her nymph-form.  You'll have to check out the novella to see if he succeeds.


Blurb:

Shot by a golden arrow, Apollo has only truly loved Daphne. He visits her each eclipse, and longs for reunion. He seeks the Fates’s advice and learns he may finally restore Daphne to her true water nymph form by enlisting other gods’ assistance. 

If Apollo fails Daphne will be lost to him forever. To regain Daphne’s soul, Apollo must deal with the devil, King of the Underworld.  Love-torn and treacherous, Hades would slay the pantheon to remain with his wife for the full year. Apollo’s quest might just give Hades the leverage he needs to do so.

Will Pheobus Apollo surrender the sun to try to reclaim love? Can he break Daphne’s curse or will his attempts destroy her forever? Will she still love him after millennia as a soulless tree? With the end of the quest see Apollo rising, or in sunset?

Apollo Rising, coming September 7, 2012 from Musa Publishing.